To Know or not to Know

When people find out that you are pregnant, there is one question that is ALWAYS asked after the appropriate time has passed. "What are you having?" I could probably come back with a smarty remark, but I usually just say, "we don't know, we like to wait." Call me old-fashioned, but it just seems like the right way for us. It's weird because I like to know what other people are having, but I don't ask "what". If I say anything about it, I think I just ask if they want to know. But I try to avoid it because I know it can be annoying to me. Just for starters I hope that I don't offend anyone with this post. I understand that there are just a slew of questions that people ask pregnant ladies, and I'm okay with it. This last pregnancy has made me go back and forth on this issue though. In a way, I think "this is the last one, maybe we should try it and find out early." But I keep coming back with the fact that you can't un-know if I'm disappointed that I found out early. Then I think, "we could figure out how to do the bedrooms and get started on preparing everything." But-most of you know us pretty well-we are procrastinators. We do everything at the last minute. We wouldn't get it done. Plus the baby will be in our room for a few months anyway. And a lot of people say, "it's still a surprise, it's just an earlier surprise." I just can't help thinking (and this just applies to me-I'm not saying anybody else would be like this) that if we knew, then in the delivery room, there wouldn't be as great of an anticipation to get it done. It's hard to explain. Nothing beats the feeling of working so hard, going through so much pain, and having that extra surprise at the end-waiting to hear the doctor, or Daniel say "it's a girl!" or "it's a boy!" It's just a wonderful experience. That's not to say that the beautiful baby isn't good enough. For me-that just seems like the right way. I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone else finding out, if that's what they want.

The thing that really bothers me is when people actually get upset because you are one of "those" people. My sister was telling me about someone who was going off on a tangent about people like me. "We have all this technology today, there is no reason why you shouldn't find out." If a couple makes the decision to patiently wait, nobody else should have a problem with that. I understand that there are certain inconveniences that I feel bad about-like people wanting to get or make a certain gift, or saving clothes and things in case the baby is this gender. I truly am sorry about that. But the couple is the ones that are having to wait with the most anticipation-pregnancy is something that consumes your thoughts and changes your entire lifestyle. The only one that goes through such drastic changes is the woman (and the man who listens to her complain and does extra things to make up for what she is "unable" to do!) It's something that can actually be decided in pregnancy (I can't decide not to have back and leg pain) so I am exercising my freedom. Just because 90% of women choose to know, doesn't mean the rest of us have to conform. So, I'm sorry to all those people who are slightly annoyed that I never have found out. That's the way I'm hoping to go again. Of course we are going to have a lot of sonograms toward the end again, so there's always a chance that something might slip, but I hope not. I had a dream the other night that I knew what it was going to be, so the rest of my pregnancy was kind of blah because I already knew-what more was there to know?! I know that sounds stupid, but it's hard to put it into words.

Again-I don't ever look down on someone because they find out. I think it's neat that way too. Just for us, it works better this way. I'm glad that Daniel likes it this way too. On a side note, I also think it's funny to hear different people's theories! When I was pregnant with Ema, one lady said, "It's a boy, I can tell." and she went on her way, nothing was going to change her mind. There is a lady at church now who says it's a girl, and then another who says it's a boy because I'm carrying high. I thought it was opposite (girls-high, boys-low) but the way she carried her kids was boy-high, girls-low. I honestly have never really noticed a difference in the way I carry them. And I don't examine other women's stomachs to try and guess either-it seems a little strange to me. I just smile and let everyone think what the want to, knowing that each pregnancy is so different. It just makes me laugh a little. ANYWAY I think I've spent enough of your time rambling on about this! I'm sure I could come up with more, but I won't!