To Know or not to Know

When people find out that you are pregnant, there is one question that is ALWAYS asked after the appropriate time has passed. "What are you having?" I could probably come back with a smarty remark, but I usually just say, "we don't know, we like to wait." Call me old-fashioned, but it just seems like the right way for us. It's weird because I like to know what other people are having, but I don't ask "what". If I say anything about it, I think I just ask if they want to know. But I try to avoid it because I know it can be annoying to me. Just for starters I hope that I don't offend anyone with this post. I understand that there are just a slew of questions that people ask pregnant ladies, and I'm okay with it. This last pregnancy has made me go back and forth on this issue though. In a way, I think "this is the last one, maybe we should try it and find out early." But I keep coming back with the fact that you can't un-know if I'm disappointed that I found out early. Then I think, "we could figure out how to do the bedrooms and get started on preparing everything." But-most of you know us pretty well-we are procrastinators. We do everything at the last minute. We wouldn't get it done. Plus the baby will be in our room for a few months anyway. And a lot of people say, "it's still a surprise, it's just an earlier surprise." I just can't help thinking (and this just applies to me-I'm not saying anybody else would be like this) that if we knew, then in the delivery room, there wouldn't be as great of an anticipation to get it done. It's hard to explain. Nothing beats the feeling of working so hard, going through so much pain, and having that extra surprise at the end-waiting to hear the doctor, or Daniel say "it's a girl!" or "it's a boy!" It's just a wonderful experience. That's not to say that the beautiful baby isn't good enough. For me-that just seems like the right way. I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone else finding out, if that's what they want.

The thing that really bothers me is when people actually get upset because you are one of "those" people. My sister was telling me about someone who was going off on a tangent about people like me. "We have all this technology today, there is no reason why you shouldn't find out." If a couple makes the decision to patiently wait, nobody else should have a problem with that. I understand that there are certain inconveniences that I feel bad about-like people wanting to get or make a certain gift, or saving clothes and things in case the baby is this gender. I truly am sorry about that. But the couple is the ones that are having to wait with the most anticipation-pregnancy is something that consumes your thoughts and changes your entire lifestyle. The only one that goes through such drastic changes is the woman (and the man who listens to her complain and does extra things to make up for what she is "unable" to do!) It's something that can actually be decided in pregnancy (I can't decide not to have back and leg pain) so I am exercising my freedom. Just because 90% of women choose to know, doesn't mean the rest of us have to conform. So, I'm sorry to all those people who are slightly annoyed that I never have found out. That's the way I'm hoping to go again. Of course we are going to have a lot of sonograms toward the end again, so there's always a chance that something might slip, but I hope not. I had a dream the other night that I knew what it was going to be, so the rest of my pregnancy was kind of blah because I already knew-what more was there to know?! I know that sounds stupid, but it's hard to put it into words.

Again-I don't ever look down on someone because they find out. I think it's neat that way too. Just for us, it works better this way. I'm glad that Daniel likes it this way too. On a side note, I also think it's funny to hear different people's theories! When I was pregnant with Ema, one lady said, "It's a boy, I can tell." and she went on her way, nothing was going to change her mind. There is a lady at church now who says it's a girl, and then another who says it's a boy because I'm carrying high. I thought it was opposite (girls-high, boys-low) but the way she carried her kids was boy-high, girls-low. I honestly have never really noticed a difference in the way I carry them. And I don't examine other women's stomachs to try and guess either-it seems a little strange to me. I just smile and let everyone think what the want to, knowing that each pregnancy is so different. It just makes me laugh a little. ANYWAY I think I've spent enough of your time rambling on about this! I'm sure I could come up with more, but I won't!

I know, I know!

I know I need to blog! A few people have mentioned it lately. I've been trying really hard not to spend too much time at the computer lately. I've been trying to keep my house clean and have done a pretty good job with it, but it's gotten a little out of hand these past couple of days. I realize that keeping a clean house isn't the most important thing, but it has always been a struggle for me. One side of me is a perfectionist that wants a place for everything. The other side of me (the tired and lazy side) just says "I can do that tomorrow when I have more time." And it only gets worse-and I know exactly what will happen. Tomorrow will be one of the craziest days because one of the kids isn't feeling good and I've got to go do this and that and it never works out. But anyway-I've been doing really good for the past 3 weeks or so. We are fixing our bathroom and can only really work on it on Saturdays so it's stuck being kind of dirty. It throws me off because I love to see my clean and orderly bathroom and bedroom. It's relaxing. Soon though, maybe!

Ema had a rough morning today. She has had 2 cavities that we've known about since November I think. I tried to get her in sooner, and if I would have known how hard it was to get them in, I would have tried harder. I finally got her appointment for today. We made this appointment in January. I should have just taken her to Midland or something just to get it done. Last week they were really bothering her, so this morning she was ready, even excited, to have it taken care of. I told her she would have to have a shot, but she said she didn't care. We had x-rays that the visiting dentist for the school had taken but she had to take new ones to see if the decay was worse. It was, on both sides and she had a small cavity on one of her bottom teeth. So she had the nitrous gas and then he gave her shots (without numbing the spot which I thought they usually did). She winced and quietly cried. He waited long enough I thought and then came and filled the one cavity. Then he pulled the other two teeth. It's hard to watch someone tugging and pulling in your child's mouth. He was very caring though-when she was whimpering he stopped and asked her if she was okay, and called her baby and was real sweet with her. He thought she said she was okay, but with her mouth open it's hard to tell. I thought she was okay too. Finally he was done and I was standing next to her. She said she wasn't okay, but still couldn't talk because of all the gauze in her mouth. When we finally got out to the car, she just let it all out. She said only her lips were numb. I asked her if she could feel her teeth with her tongue and she said she could feel like normal. Usually my tongue will be numb. I'm sure she was a little numb, but not near what she should have been. I felt horrible-one, because I hadn't gotten her in sooner, maybe her teeth could have been saved, and two because she had to endure that much pain. She is doing a lot better now though. Her cheeks are a little swollen. She's got 2 really gross, rotten teeth to put under her pillow. She thought she'd probably only get a penny for one since it was so bad! She does brush her teeth, usually twice a day (sometimes we get lazy at night and would rather just get them to bed) But I think we are going to be more diligent about it, with all of them because I don't want them to go through all this. I know she eats a lot of sugar-not near as much as some kids, I try to limit it, but I guess she is just more prone to cavities-kinda like her parents.

I think I've spent enough time typing this. I have a hard time writing a short blog. I better get to work!